This is the first post of my new blog. This isn’t my first blog and I really hope it doesn’t end up like all the others. They start off really well-I’ll write multiple whole paragraphs about real issues or interesting things that have happened to me, however it doesn’t last. I see that nobody is reading and the posts get shorter and shorter eventually being reduced to lists of shit I didn’t do that I should have done and lyrics to Bright Eyes songs that I like. Anyway, here’s to consistently updating and maybe even advertising my new blog!
^ That wasn’t the actual post. That was just my introduction to the new blog…My post prologue. This isn’t the real post either. This is just the explanation of the prologue to my first post. I’m starting to understand why my previous blogs went unread. Anyway…Here goes.
Lately I have been judging the personalities of other people by what animals they like. For example, I will show you a recent Facebook status update from someone I know. The name has been changed to protect identities.
“we took Eli to the zoo for the first time saturday! he liked the bears and giraffes,and he thought the orangutans were scary. had a date night with the hubby tonight! we had a great weekend! I love my little family! :)”
Cute right? My first thoughts were, “your baby is probably a homosexual racist hipster.” What the fuck? I can break it down for you.
He is a...
Homosexual-Likes bears
Racist-Doesn’t like orangutans
Hipster-The combination of liking bears and giraffes
For some of you, that will make a little sense, but why is this the first place my mind goes? I blame T-shirt manufacturers and consumers…Or maybe I’m the homosexual racist hipster?
I guess that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteYou could also blame corporations like Disney. In movies, animals often take on a certain race or gender depending on what they are, and its shoved into kids minds. The Jungle book is a great example that I can think of right away. The orangutans symbolize African-American culture. They sing about wanting to "become real people." Sound familiar to any historical references? Sure the line "I wanna be like you" might sound a little subtle, but consider the fact that the author of Jungle book also came up with "The White Man's Burden" Most of the other animals in the movie speak proper british accents.
Little Mermaid is great too. Sebastian has a jamacian accent, and sings about how great life is under the sea, because you dont have to get a job.
"Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we devotin'
Full time to floatin'
Under the sea!"
I could go on about this all day..
lmao bobby, this is why we're friends. 'nuf said.
ReplyDeleteWonderful insight flo!
ReplyDeleteyou are so funny! if i had known you made blogs before i would have been reading them! :)
ReplyDeleteI like tigers and giraffes...what does that tell you about me?!?
ReplyDelete